This is my cubemate, Hankin. I heart Hankin.
Look at that face - how can you not heart him? Hankin and I play ball toss together. And sometimes we even high-five! He is so sweet. Sometimes I can con him into taking phone duty (sucker.) Other times, Hankin will lie to me and tell me that I've gone and blown up another contract (but he's a really, really bad liar. sucker.)
How much do you want to be Hankin's cubemate? Oh wait - you can't - cuz he's all mine.
And how much does FaLaLa* heart her cubemate, B-Dubs? Oh wait - she doesn't - and that's why she has taken the liberty of switching his cube. Not exactly on the list of "How to address an annoying coworker" ...but we'll make that amendment. Remind me why "post-it note their desk" and "happy hour bar fights" aren't on there?
..."I HEART HANKIN"...