Wrap it up with a Friday tap. Guess the ass of this cube bro.
Pin-striped strip tease, yes please.
When Trevor Blackwell, CEO of a company called Anybots, wants to know what his employees are up to, he sends a robot to their cubicles. "I can see if people are busy on something -- and then won't interrupt them," he said this week. "Or, you know, if they're doing something that looks interesting, or if they look stuck, I'll have a conversation with them." [CNN.com]
All the girl has to do to get in a guy's pants is be flirtatious but not slutty, show interest but run away (like a 5th grader) make me work for it and don't weigh a buck sixty five. If you make me jealous I might drop you cuz I hate games, but I love games at the same time so I might just put you on hold. Oh and ladies, watch porn or to find out how to be a lady on the street (or at least not a dead fish) in bed, pick up a Cosmo/talk to your guys. If you got certain assets you better use (not just flaunt) them.Spoken like a true gentleman. Translation: "I want a high school aged girl with crazy-girl-syndrome that is the size of a bean pole." He's well on his way to the happy marriage/house/white picket fence/mini van American Dream.
#1- Just because you were the captain of every sports team in high school, doesn't mean you should show up wearing your cut-off high school basketball tshirt 6 years after you graduate high school when you visit your high school girlfriend#2- Don't bring her to a hibachi grill and as she is scarfing her rice and she asks why you're not eating, you tell her you're trying to lose weight and you're not eating carbs#3-Strawberries are an aphrodisiac. If she's sitting there feeding them to herself and you're still avoiding carbs and wont eat them... get the fuck out of my apartment#4- If you tell me how perfect or how beautiful I am one more time (after 20 times in one morning) I will punch my own pretty face to get you to stop saying it#5 dont ever show up at my apartment reeking of cig smoke and crawl in my bed with your stinky disgusting dirty self and tell me your friend puked all over you in the limo
#7 (oh wait make this number 6) dont lay in bed with me after i havent dated you in 5 years and tell me you want me to be your wife in the near future and try to discuss how many kids you want to have together...again get the fuck out of my apartment
#7 do not send me flowers after i am clearly not feeling you after that adventurous weekend. the flowers make it 3243265436753 worse
“I wore one-piece suits when I was really skinny to hide my nakedness in a sexy way. I think they are more provocative because it makes guys want to see more of me.” [People.com]
Time]One luxury I refuse to pay for is toilet paper. In college, we stole it from the dorms. Now I do my best to gank a few rolls from Mom and Dad. Whatever. Their first-born isn't exactly $15 million richer.
J-Woww: Please come play Lola's. It's really just one drink this time.
me: No, I can't. My mom wants to get me an outfit for my date tomorrow.
Nealon: Wow El Prez. Your mom really wants you to get laid
me: I. DO. NOT. NEED. MY. MOM'S. HELP! Plus. I'm a forever kind of girl.
Ari Gold: El Prez...is that true?
me: Is WHAT true??
"Gettin' sick and tired of folks gettin' fired up/Rubbin' shoulders with Tim Tebow."What a solid way to tie the knot. Some hill billy hick banjo twanging and sweet melodious country verbage...and hearing the name "Tim Tebow" somehow made this situation worse? Clearly they ran out of PBR.
i had a package from ups..they made 3 attempts to drop it at my apt..but we don't have a doorbell yet bc they are still renovating
and i couldnt just sign the slip for it
so it was sent to the ups center in a bad area of the city
i had until today to pick it up or it would have been returned to sendingand it was in a BAD area of the city---a cab dropped me off but wouldnt wait for mei had to wait like 30 min for them to give me my package
ups was down a 4 block alley
it was like being in a welfare center HookerJones
i was terrified
then had to walk down this alley with a huge ass box
no cabs in site
had to take teh bus--sat next to a drag queen and someone who looked like busta rhymesmy public transit card wouldnt scan soooo everyone had to wait for me
then i got dropped off at the train with this huge box and finally made it home
it was awful...i was so scared and my phone only had 1 bar left on it bc my exec was blowingup my phone yesterday bc she is on premise
A new initiative in Switzerland, part of a broader anti-AIDS multimedia campaign sponsored by local health authorities, vows to rescue distracted lovers.Wait wait wait. So you're saying. There's a bunch of spandex-clad douchebags sitting around, twiddling (or sitting on...) their thumbs, that hop to attention and onto their bicycles as soon as a couple of horn dogs calls up?? Like, dude...dude! When does this service get integrated into the international market?
Swiss AIDS Federation Bicycle couriers deliver condoms to forgetful lovers as part of the Swiss AIDS Federation campaign for safe sex. It only takes a phone call to one of the local bike couriers participating in the project to have them hop on a bike and quickly bring the coveted item right to the spot where it's most needed. [AOL.com]
And now since that is what it had come down to you, with your irresponsibility and fake preach of freedom of speech, have left us no other choice other than permanently boycotting Facebook. And now we are giving you a 2 weeks notice – ending at midnight of 21st July, 2010 – to fulfill our demands or else we will leave Facebook for http://madina.com/.Not to get all political/religious/HR nightmare in one post but...yeahhh.
Drunk Australian Survives After Attempting To Ride On Crocodile - A man who was drunk climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5-meter (16ft) long crocodile. The crocodile is named Fatso. He bit the 36-year-old man’s leg and tearing chunks of flesh from him as he tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lbs.) saltwater crocodile. [Daily Telegraph]If Captain Hook and the Crocodile Dundee have taught us anything, it's that trying to ride a crocodile is a dumb effing idea. The mechanical bull at Daisy Dukes does not count. I do a lot of stupid things sometimes. J-woww does a lot of stupid things on a day-to-day basis. And Crook just says stupid things. But none of us are missing chunks of flesh. Maybe just a couple cuts/bruises from fence hopping? That's besides the point. P.S. The croc's name is Fatso.
Lindsay Lohan had the words "f**k u" painted in tiny type on a single fingernail when she appeared before Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel for her probation hearing on Tuesday. [FoxNews.com]Apparently people are freaking out over the sub-conscious meanings of her cryptic finger messages. Here. In 2.8 seconds I'll wow you with profound psycho analytic analysis: she's an effing nutjob. Trace it back to The Parent Trap and her dual personalities. Case closed. Detox that bitch.
The weak economy has sharply reduced mail volume as companies cut their advertising. At the same time there has been a significant drop in lucrative first-class mail, with more and more people turning to the Internet to communicate with each other as well as to receive and pay bills. [YahooFinance]Get ready to empty your pockets, stamps are going up 2-cents, all the way up to 46!! I remember (back in the day) when they were 32-cents. It was actually in 5th grade...the only reason I know that is because a friend borrowed a stamp and legitimately paid me back in pennies. At which point I proceeded to heckle my classmates for three more pennies in order to buy a Little Debbie at lunch. True story.
The team names included the Flaming Messiahs, a nod to the incinerated "Touchdown Jesus" sculpture north of Cincinnati struck by lightning last week, and the Dinosaur Jesus Riders, whose cheer goes like this: "Yeehaw, ride that Jesus!" [USAToday.com]I went to a Christian-based summer camp for a few years. Partaking in the usual crafting, water sports and archery games. Never once did we sit around bashing Jews or chanting, "Guess what atheists. When you die...NOTHING HAPPENS!*" But if their values are based on bashing ours (and every other faithful individual), then they're missing out on a lot of boondoggle tips.