$$ for Houses

A lunch hour reprieve from micro-managing.
There were a few things from this weekend that I need to address:

a) I went to the mall. This is a semi-annual thing for me. First stop was J Crew. And I was quickly reminded why I hate shopping: Brandi. Dear, sweet, obnoxious Brandi (or maybe her name was Brandon?). Sales associates who are not contained within a cubicle should be shot. Because if they do their job right, you want to jab them in the eye with a pointed object. I barely even looked at a cotton blend cardigan and she all but swooped in from behind a mannequin, practically drooling over my shoulders. Finally my mom and I just threw clothes at her and she ran off to 'reserve a dressing room' at hyper-drive speed. After some browsing, some dodging, I ended up in the dressing room not even with a pant leg removed when Brandi/Brandon started knocking down the door to see how 'everything was going.' Bravo sales tactics because I legitimately felt like crying when breaking it to her, looking deep into those large puppy dog eyes, that I did not decide to go with the gray cardigan.

2) Driving my sister and her crew to the community college dorms, could not pass up the opportunity to mold young minds. (please click on photo so you can see what it is)This sign reads "$ For Houses" and leaves a phone number. As TayTay and Slabby were doing shooters (of apple juice) in the backseat, my sister Beaner ran out to get a picture for me. A reality slap seemed too harsh at the time...just couldn't rain on their parade. So I'll do it here: Girls. Get your degrees. I don't know if this moron is ASKING for money or LENDING it. But this is why America is falling ass backwards. I know you guys used to go around throwing Wegmans cakes at cars, massacring bonfires and defying your parents' every wishes, but let me just say that "good judgment comes from experience...and plenty of experience comes from bad judgment." Therefore I can confidently say that, with a diploma in hand, you are going to blaze a fucking trail with all the hell you've raised. Don't let all of your groundings go for naught. Remember that time when The Parents caught you all with vodka-filled water bottles in your luggage just before your senior year spring break to Myrtle Beach? Use it as a building block on your way to success, don't let it be just another hand-painted poster at a traffic light on the highway of life.