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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Caffeine, Cocaine, and Cocoa Crispies


Suing Post for 'misrepresentation' - really Hogan? Who peed in your Corn Puffs?



What gets me through the day is caffeine and cereal.

The Red Cross attendants never laugh when I say that my blood type is "bold roast, 2 Splenda, french vanilla creamer," but I still think I'm a riot.

Otherwise my day starts and ends with a bowl (or four) of Kashi, Reeses Puffs, Chex, Lucky Charms...whatever is within arm's reach. Not picky. Just hungry. It's like crack.

Speaking of crack, I've always wanted to try it...twenty-something lifestyle has me running on 4hrs of sleep each day. But let's face it, I went to school for business. If a dime bag costs $80, how many boxes of cereal could be bought instead?

That's why when Hulk Hogan gets his tights in a bunch over a Post Cocoa Pebbles commercial, I become severely disenchanted.

A) You ran around fake slamming other men in spandex (we all know how i feel about spandex) into a mat. You're an entertainer. Right in line with strippers.

2) You had a reality tv show on MTV, but a kid's cartoon about breakfast cereal pisses you off?

furthermore) Your products include Hulk Burgers ...sold at Walmart...and Hulk Energy drinks. You need all the publicity you can get.

If we have learned anything from Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, and Paris Hilton - it's that ANY publicity is good publicity.

Didn't you see the fairy movie with The Rock wearing a tu-tu and waving a wand?? Get it?? Now can you smell what I'm cooking, bitch?

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