I quickly learned that I don't really care what everyone wants read about, so Shake Weight it is!!
You know when you see something bizarre that you just cannot keep to yourself...when you just HAVE to share the calamity with some one else? Those are immediate-text moments. Like seeing a redneck family at Walmart who all have mullets. Or an old fat guy wearing a banana hammock at the beach (loving those visuals?).
Well I saw the Shake Weight commercial and it was an immediate-text moment to friend/trainer, J-Fizz.
Seriously, this is better than former NFL star Joe Montana endorsing the Skechers Shape Up shoe. We all know what muscles the Shake Weight really works, I'm just waiting for one of those infomercial ladies to deep-throat the damn thing. And so...
Me: Please tell me you've seen the 'shake weight'
J-Fizz: That is hilarious! I want one for the gym
Me: The invention of one very lonely dude...
J-Fizz: Or a self-lovin chick
Me: Let's hope they found each other
Oddly enough, even if J-Fizz invests in an army of Shake Weights, it wouldn't be the most awkward thing to happen at the gym. Nope. That award goes to me, a very in-shape very attractive forty-something man, and a flight of stairs....and the morning that I shlepped him up and down that flight of stairs. His junk jabbing, rubbing up on my back every step of the way. The only thing that scenario is missing is whipped cream and his family portrait on the wall (don't worry I've met them all anyways). When I think of a hot, sweaty man on top of me at 5am - that's not exactly what I have in mind. In the words of J-Fizz, we'll chalk one up to awkward fantasy.
Also. Who gave E Thompson the password to the universal voicemail box? Some one needs to cut her off.
Well I saw the Shake Weight commercial and it was an immediate-text moment to friend/trainer, J-Fizz.
Seriously, this is better than former NFL star Joe Montana endorsing the Skechers Shape Up shoe. We all know what muscles the Shake Weight really works, I'm just waiting for one of those infomercial ladies to deep-throat the damn thing. And so...
Me: Please tell me you've seen the 'shake weight'
J-Fizz: That is hilarious! I want one for the gym
Me: The invention of one very lonely dude...
J-Fizz: Or a self-lovin chick
Me: Let's hope they found each other
Oddly enough, even if J-Fizz invests in an army of Shake Weights, it wouldn't be the most awkward thing to happen at the gym. Nope. That award goes to me, a very in-shape very attractive forty-something man, and a flight of stairs....and the morning that I shlepped him up and down that flight of stairs. His junk jabbing, rubbing up on my back every step of the way. The only thing that scenario is missing is whipped cream and his family portrait on the wall (don't worry I've met them all anyways). When I think of a hot, sweaty man on top of me at 5am - that's not exactly what I have in mind. In the words of J-Fizz, we'll chalk one up to awkward fantasy.
Also. Who gave E Thompson the password to the universal voicemail box? Some one needs to cut her off.
#1- you loved shlepping him up and down the stairs
ReplyDelete#2-seriously, who gave her the f'ing password fkgne43u5klegfdl WTF