A Lesson in Marketing

"Thank heaven for 7-Eleven -- suds? The nation's third-largest beer retailer is getting its own brand of brew. Game Day beer is rolling out this month.

The convenience store [7-Eleven] chain is billing its private label brand as a premium brew at a budget price. 7-Eleven's Dan Skinner says Game Day has done well in taste tests against premium brands. It will sell for about $7 for a 12-pack." - via www.whec.com

If any 7-Eleven cashier had a brain, they would snag a beer for themselves and promote a "$7 for an 11-pack" deal.

This brings me back to my time abroad in Santiago, Chile [South America]...

There was Nuts5Nuts. Now, Nuts4Nuts is a roasted nut stand found across the North and South Americas. One assumes that any person who is "nuts for nuts" would snack there. The City of Santiago had one on every corner.

This absolutely thrilled the three Texas chicas that I studied with. Let's refer to them as the PowerPuffs (a little more tactful than "hulking airheads"). The PowerPuffs obsessed over three things: Nuts4Nuts, our Chilean supervisor named Carlos, and George W. Bush. Why Nuts4Nuts? Because there is, in fact, a Nuts4Nuts stand on the grounds of Texas State University. They hailed it, bursting with pride like George W. Bush himself had opened that very nut cart.

Every day after Spanish class, the PowerPuffs left promptly to find their next Chilean Nuts4Nuts...until they discovered Nuts5Nuts. Mayhem. They squealed and shrieked in "hola y'all" Spanish about their latest trip to Nuts5Nuts. This floors me. It's not even like the Nuts5Nuts nut is superior to Nuts4Nuts nut - it's the same exact nut, same type of roast - just slightly more expensive.

Now, 7-Eleven (originally called Tote'em) was initially re-named to reflect its hours of operation. One assumes that it would be open from 7am til 11pm. There are all of these exciting campaigns that they launch like the free 7.11oz Slurpee on July 11th of every year. Therefore there is no point in calling it anything except 7-Eleven.

But maybe I'll move to Chile one day...and open a 7-Twelve.

And with the advent of Game Day beer, I'll barely hit profit margins with my $7 per 12-pack campaign, but at least I'll stay true to my branding.

Cubicle Land has seen the last of me. I've found my calling.