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Saturday, April 10, 2010

That WOULD Happen.

There comes a time in every cube citizen's life when they run into a former cube mate on the outside.

Sometimes it is a cube mate that moved on to bigger and better things. For better or worse, a former cube mate shared your struggle so you've got that unspoken bond. Always fun to catch up...[in memory of JMaves, Dave C, Sarah R, etc.]

And sometimes it is the cube mate that was fired who used to sit across from you, and would awkwardly hit on you like a teenage savage, and sent you inappropriate nude pics to "get you going", and asked you out via text (while sitting across from you. and had girlfriend)...[**gag** Kalei]

I had a cube mate run-in. Of course my story involves the latter.

So I was filling up my Honda at pump 4 on Saturday afternoon. Mind you. I go to one gas station and I only go there once every 2 weeks. Now, consider the finite window of opportunity that a 5 minute fill-up allows for...and doesn't Kalei pull up right effing next to me at the same effing pump.


Obviously it took me no time to recognize him and piss my pants in panic. Keeping my cool, I grabbed my receipt and acted pleasantly surprised. I peaked my head over to his side and said, "Oh hey Kalei! Oh my gosh how have you been since Jamie very publicly left a voicemail to fire you 3 days before Christmas?? Is that the reason you never followed-up on your text message dinner date with me for 'January 2nd at 6pm'? Or was it the fact that I found out your real first name is Fred and that you have a girlfriend?"

Game. Set. Match.



[puh-lease!! reality check: The Butler, HookerJones, and BuckWild received immediate texts. Kalei definitely pulled up to my gas pump. i saw him, but he was checking his cell phone and did not see me. i simply freaked and pulled out my pony tail, put on my sunglasses, slipped into my car and peeled outta there unnoticed. it's fun to play with matches, but i'm not gonna throw myself into a forest fire.]

My life is one cosmic joke.

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