P.I.M.P.

So yesterday my mom had her cell phone in hand and asked, "Do you know what P-I-M-P stands for???" She was absolutely tickled with delight.

Naturally, I'm thinking: Duh, pimps is people too. Wrong. PIMP, in short-hand text, actually stands for 'peeing in my pants'. Can be grouped with "lol" and "LMAO" and "rotfl", but a lot weirder. Who is contaminating the masterfully-crafted verbage of texting technology with crap like 'peeing in my pants'?

For some one who takes things very literally, and learns visually, my mind goes a step further and I actually picture my friends "rolling on the floor laughing"... so come to find that Mom is PIMP, you can imagine that I become uncomfortable and terribly judgmental.

Seriously, with the way that behavior is changing - I'm sure you yourself are communicating much differently than the way you were even 2 years ago, right Miz? That's right, go screw. And go dial. Apparently I've been called out and need to put 'something good' up. So as I struggle to even produce a single telephone call, let me answer the call to blog.

Nothing irritates me more than the ladies on the 2nd floor hopping on the elevator to get to the 3rd. Do they not see everything that the First Lady is doing to end childhood obesity in America? It's an epidemic. Furthermore: it's cruise season.

And although I'm lining up the voodoo dolls of cubies who get to go, the warm weather has put me in a giving mood. Plus it's got me thinking about my spring wardrobe vs. my winter body...in-cube exercises include Chair Squats and Coffee Cup Curls:



For more tips please refer to health expert, Yudi Kerbel (there's some legit stuff there. Apparently young Yudi empathizes with our situation because he spends "half his day stuck in an office in front of a computer, and the other half in the gym training people"...that's genuine. That's also lacking complete credibility. Surely Yudi's never had to do the talking-tango with any Rhondas or Peggys. And he's probably allotted more than three sick days per year, has never had 4 of J.Cosco's 'important' voicemails dropped on his extension within a half hour, or been assaulted by the bus stop gang on your way to The Office. Sure he understands the stresses of cubicle life. Yudi's like our very own Yoda.)

At any rate, I'm totally "PIMP" right now - blowing up two Associations in one day. Should that be considered a record or grounds for termination?

PANIC BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!