Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I hate this man sooo hard right now.

The graveyard shift at Wal-Mart got ya dragging? Then load up on caffeine and choke your wife! [insert 'hide ya kids, hide ya wife' joke here]

Outlook for coffee is grim; this cracker choked his wife with an extension chord after "too much soda, caffeine-laced diet pills and the energy drink No Fear," due to lack of sleep. What an asshole.

Can't wait til the good state of Kentucky rules on this one. That's a place where the "thou must bathe once a year" law has been enacted. That's right, law. Also home of the KFC double down...aka heart attack in a sack. Stellar.

No one is going to believe you, you inconsiderate prick. CAFFEINE MAKES ME A MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. Ask HookerJones. It's my lifeline. Every twenty-something ever knows that if you didn't drink coffee after finals week freshman year, then you definitely started drinking when you started your first job (you know. that time you came in after 2 hours of sleep and wayyyy to many car bombs. yeah...that time.).

I'm not trying to have this jerk-off screw with the system. MMMMkay?

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