WOMAN THROWS ACID ON HER OWN FACE AND ADMITS IT

This is...well, was...the face of a woman who faked an acid attack. Then admitted it. What an ass hat.

Now. I have been known to throw a few fakes in every now and then *ahem*. But this dumb Canadian bitch gets to look like she was mauled by a grizzly for the rest of her life and doesn't even have a worthwhile case:

According to Storro's claim, she had just bought a pair of sunglasses and was celebrating a new job when a woman walked up to her with a cup and said: "Hey pretty girl, do you want to drink this?"[some website]

Like. Nobody's going to walk up to some Jersey Shore wannabe, fist pumping with her shades and gettin all crazy, and just throw acid on them. It doesn't happen. Sorry. One of my VPs gave me a cigar last week - of course I was obligated to enjoy it. So we are all outside the bar, and I've got this Cuban the size of a child's arm s hanging out of my mouth (classy.). And doesn't everybody want a piece? This rando walks up and goes "like omggg where did you get that cigar??" - I told her "my boss gave it to me!" - she goes "ohhh. did you get a promotion??" - I said "NOPE. I got a cigar." Not a cup of acid to my face.

When was the last time you and your friends went to happy hour with flasks of acid thinking, "ohhhh some recently-promoted jerk off is really gonna get it tonight...especially if they are wearing new sunglasses."

Only Quasimodo is gonna wanna bang this mama. Good luck with that socialist Canadian health care and the mounted police with their little red jackets. You can grab your brown paper bag and go shave your back now.