Baby Shower Blessings (and my baby mama drama)

Sometimes I act like a mature young adult. Make dinner, shop for groceries, send birthday cards...standard, manageable stuff. But then there's the occasional baby shower to shop for.

Now before I continue, get 'mo educated on typical babies-and-twenty-something word association:

• babysitting - (v.) watching chilluns that are not ones own...usually coincides with monetary gain
• The Baby Maker - (n.) delicious martini made specially at Lola's (two-for-one happy hour, yes please)
• A Jack and Coke (n.) - not Jack and Jill
  
• slam dance - (n.) how to make a baby...

Hmmm.

So I went looking for baby stuffs this Sunday. Ended up in the pet food aisle. Surprised? I finally made it to the correct diaper-clad corner of the store and...dude. Ray Charles could have seen the panic on my face.

I really have to applaud the gym ladies and my momma who've prepared me for situations like this. Cuz one of these days when I'm a fully-functioning adult, elbow deep in diaper wipes and pissing my pants when I sneeze, I will think fondly of the gym ladies because they didn't sugar coat anything during our daily 5ams. Keeping me on my toes. ScottyB and Suga get a shout out too.

Whatever, they can thank me for the vajazzles that the CE-yo! Elf will be gifting to them this holiday season.

So it came full circle last night for J-fizz's baby numero cinco baby shower. Put those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers to good use, mama. The gym ladies had a great little celebration at our favorite Italian restaurant - Compane, holla. Celebration (and good food) - and cheer (and even more good food) - and pink onesies (and cake)!

Like, I've been sitting in my cube grinding it out the last seven months while you have been growing a human - wtf cubies, how's that for some perspective. Nonetheless it's really, really cool to have been a part of it all :)

My baby-mama-drama aka worst nightmare is having kids and, knowing me, they'll end up some disaster like crack-head-kid Willow Smith:

>>> WTF lil Smith. Let's reel it back in to the pet food aisle for now...



HAHAHA THIS BIRD IS THE SHIT!!!!

[word up to T for the bird blip]

{fist pump for lil baby blessings}