Misfortunes of the Fortunate

The most surprising thing about the Tiger Woods affair was that he was actually banging chicks. He always kinda struck me as gay. And the fact that his wife rocked him with one of his golf clubs...that's just great irony.

Well you know what they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

So would you rather have your wife attack you with a golf club or have your mistress pay $250,000 to put billboards of your affair above the streets of NYC, San Fran, and Atlanta?

<--That's right. The mistress of Oracle's CEO is turning heads and blowing the whistle on their 8 1/2 year affair with some good, old fashioned marketing. Serious vindication.

This is a message to all of the cubicle cronies: the world gets a lot smaller the more your bank account grows. So be careful who you're boning. And always wrap it before you tap it.

There is a lot of excitement for the upcoming week/weekend. Our sales manager's band is playing at a local bar. The "oldies sensation that's sweeping the nation" known as Ruby Shooz.

And I am certainly ready to be starstruck cuz Jersey Shore is coming to town!!!!!!!! J-Fizzle and I discussed it this morning at the gym...

It will pretty much be one of those life changing moments when they let me shake Snookie's hand. But what I really want is to get a good look at that poof on top of her head - if the 'queen of guidettes' uses a bump-it then life as we know it is a LIE. Maybe J-Fizzle will score a birthday kiss from The Situation.

But I'm beginning to wonder how MTV pseudo-celebs are making their way upstate to our rinky dink town. Maybe because in NYC they're on the bottom of Hollywood's totem pole. You can't really consider MTV to be Hollywood anyways. It's like the Island of Misfit Toys for TV personalities. The guy from Real World/Road Rule's, Evan whatever-his-name-is, was here on New Year's Eve. Probably because he knew he'd get a headline. Too bad he only got a few frames on the photo page of the local magazine.

Now moving on from CEO chat and MTV jerks to: a twenty-something moment (ah, I digress). The twenty-something is my high school friend, BKWasp (blogger of Our Home Needs a Husband). She sent me this text:

"New low: digging for ONE PENNY to make the 1.50 for a bagel
and cream cheese. Panicked bc i couldn't find it."

Yikes. Nothing like paying rent in Brooklyn. We'll find our places though. Soon. But never forget that you came from somewhere between corporate domination and the mail room...Cubicle Land. Otherwise you could end up with a billboard of you and your mistress overlooking the streets of NYC - oops.