A Lesson in Swindling

swindle (v) - to obtain money or property by fraud or deceit


Ever seen the movie-musical The Music Man? It's about this traveling salesman who takes this small, secluded community by storm and sells them a bunch of musical instruments. Your kids are out late at night at the pool hall, running around town - who knows what kind of unwholesome mischief they're getting into! Why not invest in a shiny brass trumpet and join the community youth together in an all out symphony orchestra?

Did the entire town have to empty their post-Depression era bank accounts on noisemakers and nuanced dreams of classical music? No. But they did.

Think about it: who was the first person to buy a microwave?

How about that sad sap of a salesman who was stuck with getting that thing on the market. They say the customer is always right...FALSE. The customer doesn't always know what the customer wants. That's where solicitors come in.

Solicitor - from the Latin verb "solicitar" that translates loosely as the verb "to incite fear" or "to scare". Fascinating.

The numb nut townsfolk in The Music Man were terrified that their bible-hugging kids were going to go down the wrong path unless they were tooting and fluting. A fear that the salesman brought to their attention.

A solicitor addresses your deepest fear, appeal to wants of which you weren't even aware. For the trendsetters, tanning beds keep you bronzed. For the cancer-conscious trendsetters, self-tanner lotions remove the UV. Both impusles to indulge are based on fear, fear of falling behind in looks and in times, coupled with fear of death/disease. (but didn't you know that white pasty skin was once a thing for royalty? the slaves and peasant toiling in the fields were the ones looking like burlap bags. hence pale skin meant money. with all the rays that penetrate the cube walls i'm looking more like a queen every day)

Porn though. That's the one industry that eludes me...it's recession proof and DEAR GOD HOOKERJONES WOULD YOU STOP SCREAMING OUT JO DEE MESSINA LYRICS?????