SOOOOoooOOOOooooo. Here's the thing.
I'm absolutely teeming to tell you two juicy, epic, incredibly embarrassing (yet typical-of-me) stories. Each detail is integral to the character of each tale. However! Most details are absolutely not suitable most public viewing. I regret to inform you that these stories have already been written and will not be posted. But who says we can't still have some laughs?
email me if you want the goods. i will honor the most compelling proposals with a personal phone call to recount the incidents.
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