I like to start and end my days with a good hooping. Who's got the swag?

Do they have good form?

Can they keep it up?

Do they fight the beat or do they feel the flow?

...extra points for creativity.

Brace yourselves. It's time to get educated...

A long-time theory, courtesy of J-fizz (as she is a long-time fitness connoisseur and has dedicated her life's work to health/wellness). Consider that a male's weight room etiquette, technique, stamina, and form, are directly related to the proportion of satisfaction in their... 'inverse' relationships...aka dudes bone how they build. Ya digg?

HAHAHA! Wait for it: The theory has been tested (and proven?) with some hard hula-hooping facts. That's right. The Hula. Hoop. Theory.

[Now you're all wondering whose kids I babysit and what other kinds of playground games I got up my sleeve. Firstly, you don't know the half of it. And secondly, give me some credit! Gotta start them off with hopscotch before the big league stuff, duh.]

So this morning we got Suga cranking. Actually we got all of 5am to test their twirl with a good hooping. But Suga just had that sway. Then all the sudden BAM! started doing the jam with some serious deep bends; steady and ready and keeping it up. Even calling for extra time on the clock! What a tease, showing up once a week to get his pimp on - I'm just glad I wasn't sharing a spin bike with HilDog...

The Chronicles' Practical Application: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WASTED NIGHTS I JUST SAVED YOU for when you're wasted? This is like a sure-fire, foolproof way to have a happy ending to happy hour with your co-workers. Make it worthwhile before you dip too deep in the office pool.

Who cares if you can't see straight by 7pm - a couple swift swings and you'll know if big papa knows how to drop ya! Otherwise, tell him to hike it back up to the belltower with Quasimodo.

And for the fellas on the lookout...something to do with a 'big front yard is nice to look at but there's no groove if those hips don't move,' right? If you don't believe me, there is a Hula Hoop movement dedicated to the hooping lifestyle...http://www.thehoopinglife.com/

Tell me this chick isn't down for a good whooping:

here's a real treat. a text from J-fizz on the HHT (hula hoop theory) in the 6am class:

J-fizz: Your mama turns tricks hard on the hula! You should see her go lol

Bitch, I got it from my momma.

Better go check out your hula hoop solo - you'll know if you're ready for the circus.