<<-- Ladies and Gentleman and Cube Inhabitants alike, here we have a serious problem. Problem because as soon as J-fizz spotted this gem there was no turning back...lie. We in fact kept turning back to check out this ass-cracking-tramp-stamped hooker. A solid score.And yes. We made a ridiculously obvious mess of ourselves trying to capture the Kodak moment with the old "Wait! I don't have any service in here - extend arm and pretend to find a signal" trick. J-fizz, partner in crime, deserves full credit for the slick pic...fist pump.
Napkin drafting to the hot mess madame ensues:
Dear Madame,
The visual symposium of your derriere, while incredibly subtle and cache, is appalling.
For the sake of every other girl, cover the cheeks. Did you think that undergarments would
inhibit your evening experience?
For the sake of every other guy (besides the 'gentleman' with whom you are dining), you're not fooling anyone. As per Wedding Crashers, I quote, "...tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bulls-eye."
Ya. Dead effing give-away. If Superman walked around with his shirt half-buttoned, showing his gleaming pecs and signature "S", then EVERYBODY would know he can fly and see through walls. Should EVERYBODY know this isn't your first rodeo?
The overt expression of your "super skillz" was, however, insanely more entertaining
than screeching cat-lady (aka live singer), over by the bar. J-fizz and I were both stunned and awed (or was that the blinding sunlight?) by the fact that you didn't feel a breeze, falling crumbs, or the glaring stares directed at your ass.
Sorry to break it to you.
But then again, you take most things lying down, eh?
xoxoxo,
Nicole Lilia et al.
For the sake of every other girl, cover the cheeks. Did you think that undergarments would
inhibit your evening experience?
For the sake of every other guy (besides the 'gentleman' with whom you are dining), you're not fooling anyone. As per Wedding Crashers, I quote, "...tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bulls-eye."
Ya. Dead effing give-away. If Superman walked around with his shirt half-buttoned, showing his gleaming pecs and signature "S", then EVERYBODY would know he can fly and see through walls. Should EVERYBODY know this isn't your first rodeo?
The overt expression of your "super skillz" was, however, insanely more entertaining
than screeching cat-lady (aka live singer), over by the bar. J-fizz and I were both stunned and awed (or was that the blinding sunlight?) by the fact that you didn't feel a breeze, falling crumbs, or the glaring stares directed at your ass.
Sorry to break it to you.
But then again, you take most things lying down, eh?
xoxoxo,
Nicole Lilia et al.
So how was dinner last night with some Real Human Interaction, you ask? Splendid.
Can you take me anywhere? No.
(crackkkk close-up)
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