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Monday, January 10, 2011

HAVE A NICE DAY ... xoxoxo, Your BFFs at the fkn FBI

Office of Personnel Management: Investigative Services


Just yesterday my mom asked if I could get in trouble for the SuperBoots post...


I mean, maybe? Not for nothing. They put us through an entire semester of business/cyber law in college [slander is spoken, written is liable]. I even went on to tutor for the class, so I have an idea of what not to do. Give a girl some cred, yo!

Plus, all that jazz in "Enter: SuperBoots" would be - and probably will be - said to his face. Shamelessly.

SO WHAT A SWEET LITTLE LOVE NOTE FROM THE FREAKING FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS WAITING FOR ME ON A MONDAY NIGHT. UGHHHHHHHHH.

>> see how it says "HAVE A NICE DAY 1/7/11" - does that mean that was the last and only day that would be 'nice to have' from this point on??

Perhaps there were a few uncouth statements quoted in "Enter: SuperBoots". But don't you think hitting up the FBI is a little extreme?

Geeeeez, thinking that 2011 was a new leaf or at least not the type of leaf that could be mistaken for illegalities. Seems like shit is already up in smoke. Cuz now Hankins has had me laid out in a cube coma/down for the count from a chew and the FBI is on my ace for wtf knows what.

So I spotted the letter. From the freaking FBI. Instantly panic, started shaking uncontrollably. Shouted out "DID ANYONE SEE THIS???"...receiving only blank stares from parents. Come to find it's just a background check for one of my college bffs, Amangela...
Hahahaha ohhhhh.  You mean the crackwhore who got me sh*t-faced for the first time ever (vom. everywhere in front of the dorm, then let that burn-out Shane rub my back while my face was in a trashcan full of shattered glass pointing up at me)?? You mean the very ho-bag who is the lynchpin of my freshman year debaucheries, and most subsequent debaucheries (in no particular order...Niagara Falls 2006, surprise visit 2007, Halloween 2008 and the epic bumble bee plane ride of shame, etc, etc...)??
Cuz not for nothing, I was very very well behaved otherwise. But there's always that one friend that brings out the best/worst in you...
HA. That 'official & time-sensitive' FBI letter was just a fill-in-the-blank formality. She listed me as a reference, obvi.

((Hell yeah I know that bitch. Where do I sign?))

4 comments:

  1. was that an attempt at quoting Spiderman? (emphasis on attempt)

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  2. I don't follow Spider-man...so no.

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  3. you should. He's quite the art critic... http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0913/

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