I've probably frightened the new guy away. I throw and cuss at my phone all day...except when I'm on a call, I'm Sarah Fucking Sunshine. Well my "pod" of people have a new member questionnaire that we give to newcomers. This is probably why most people quit after a week. The cube across from me has been empty for about a month. With the questionnaire, there is a member spotlight that we have (yeah, so cool). I asked NG (NG = new guy) what he learned. NG goes, "Well I learned that you really like contraceptives." - I was floored and almost died immediately. I forgot what I wrote on my member spotlight, it reads:
NicoleLilia(struggling twenty-something) might as well open up a thrift shop with all of the junk she has in her cube. From fun-colored paperclips to condoms, she is prepared for any situation. She brings her lunch every day, and her strict nutritional intake is reflected by her short temper - do not tread in the wake of her dialing. NLSts leads hourly trips to the kitchen for coffee.
An avid astrologer and soothsayer, HookerJones enjoys stalking, shoe shopping, and waitressing at Schooner's in her free time. Don't bother asking her for relationship advice or what day of the week it is as she will most likely be unable to help you.
The pod's seasoned veteran, CDawg, knows 'what's up'. She is the socialite of the pod and will readily organize outings and group runs; declining her invitations is considered social-suicide.
Chi-chetti enjoys making it known that he has the highest number of appointments on the board. He also takes great pleasure in hiking, the game of disc golf, a nice bowl of pasta, money, and a big glass of Vino.
The Butler, is our favorite and the most kind-natured podmate. She shares the last name of our mayor. This is not a coincidence. The Bulter tends not to make more than 30 daily dials; she orders Combo #1 with cheese and a medium diet coke at Wendy's.
Hope I was able to entertain. Welcome to my life in Cubicle Land.
(end email message)
...and thus, blog was unofficially born.