Poetry in Social Media.

Nothing's worse than pouring out your emotions in a Facebook status. Thank Jeeves that Twitter only allows 140 characters. Seriously.

Fetti's friend Ernie is on my shit list. Ernie is an avid gym-goer, a college graduate, an overall stud (stalking confirms).

Any self-respecting man needs to know that if you break up with a girl that you've been dating for 3 months, do NOT write your pathetic wimpering words all over your fbook status. It's not hot when you channel your inner Bieber. Do us all a favor: drink yourself senseless and puke on a bum, or set your sights on the Barrel of Monkeys (Dolls?). Like puh-lease stop crying into your pillow before you start biting it. Bottoms up.

OMG thank you Lamebook for the best poem ever. This dude Phillip knows where the status is at. J-fizz, time to step up your game!