Forget this. I'm opening up a flower shop.
It will be called Flowers & Fortunes.
Flowers for flowers. Duh. Fortunes because HookerJones will be hired as the company soothsayer. It'll be like a 2-f0r-1 special. Buy flowers for your loved one, find out if they actually love you.
The Butler will launch all commercials and promotional campaigns. But instead of a monkey I'd rather have a parrot. Because parrots can talk and are more personable. And I'll get to make these unilateral decisions because in this fight-or-flight economy, immediate action is necessary at all times. In fact, employees will have to attend the weekly "Rose Ceremony"...anyone not pulling their weight will be cut from the crew. Essentially, pruning and removing the figurative thorns from the Flowers & Fortunes team.
C-dawg will be in charge of team building activities like group waterings and coffee outings. Additionally, C-dawg will handle our 'no-refund' company policy.
Chi-chetti will be the gatekeeper. Can't bullshit a bullshitter.
Our averaged-height staff will be able to accommodate all of your greenery needs. Chocolates are complimentary (as long as average height staff can resist the temptation).
It could be the next reality tv show.
In other words, everything relating to Cubicle Land, sales, leads, off-the-cuff...is all crap. It's a glorified way of painting that picture of the American Dream for youngins. But isn't your success in Sales based on the effort you put forth? They should really tell you that it's capitalism based on bondage. Because really you're just a wave-rider on someone else's credible coattails.
Isn't that just a rose thorn in your side?
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