Today I was the test victim/dummy for a massage/chiropractor...hereby referred to as Jelly Bean ("Beans" for short.)
Beans instructed me to lose the layers once everyone was out of the room. And then to hop on the table, cover myself with the sheet, and get ready for my shining moment.
Don't fret, they let me keep my sports bra and underwears.
But when someone tells you that you'll be in your skivvies...on a table...in front of three strangers...you shave your legs (immediately!) and pick out your finest undies (carefully!).
Well WTF!!!! That was the Wednesday night dilemma. My gym stuff is gross. Thongs are out. And do people still own granny-panties? I don't. So hopefully the audience didn't mind a few slutty bowties.
WHICH REMINDS ME:
A friend was at the gyno. Every Girl Ever has to give a pee-pee sample at their yearly. So this friend collected her sample in the bathroom, but there was no paper to be found...paper towels, toilet paper, paper mache...nada.
So she reached into her purse and grabbed a quick Kleenex with which to swab. Every Girl Ever has an extra stash for emergencies.
Thinking herself so resourceful, she threw her heels up in the stirrups. Her gyno came in, went in...and came up: "Um, are these yours?"
...he found some stamps. stuck to her cooch.
Kleenex fail.
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