Calling all soccer moms! Rev7 gum doesn't stick to sidewalks or carpets!!! That's nice. Does the 7 indicate that even though it won't stick to shit, the gum still takes 7 years to digest?
Like, okay sometimes you have a late night out and meet some one and don't want to stank like alcohol so you chomp down on some gum. And then pass out with some gum in your mouth. And if some gum falls out of your mouth then FINE. I get it. Obviously nobody wants that awkward situation on top of the already-awkward situation.
Newsflash: I don't give a flying nunchuck what my gum sticks to because I'm not 5 years old and putting it in my hair or on my car seat.
Okay. Now that your memory has been refreshed, let's bring everyone up to speed. This morning I opened my Yahoo! account to find an email titled 'Vajazzle blog post'. Immediately I freaked out about liability and had flashbacks to Business Law lesson plans on Internet lawsuits. The email read:
Hi CE-yo!,
Thanks for writing about us on your blog post.
We'd like to send you a free sample to try out if you're interested in writing a followup blog post.
Thanks,
Vajazzle.com Higher-Ups
Trick question???
Naturally - I immediately phoned J-fizz. Because this is tooooooo good.
What'll it be cubies? Vajazzle feature - complete with photos, commentary, and perhaps video??
The above photo just speaks to me on a number of different levels. One of them being,
Two Octobers ago, Trent Edwards was considered the long-awaited heir apparent to Jim Kelly. He was the quarterback who was going to lead the woebegone Bills back to prominence.
That never happened, not even close, and some would say Edwards helped drive the Bills further into irrelevance.
His disappointing three-plus-year tenure in Buffalo came to an end Monday when he was released, joining a growing list of forgettable QBs who failed to take the reins the way Hall-of-Famer Kelly once did. [Democrat & Chronicle]
The other level runs along the line that the Jets' tubby tackler is about to really give it to him. Hard.
Now, don't go calling me a Bills fan. Born and bred a Giants fan (go G-men!) - but as a Western New Yorker, I do feel some loyalty to the upstate teams. Usually has to do with the ice storm of '93.
So this weekend the fam fell into place for our football routine...aka I fell as close to the HD screen as I could in order to get the best view of Mark Sanchez. My dad, being the sports guru that he is, didn't even notice the family rat-dog was eating the rest of his chili. He was just ecstatic at the idea that today's Bills game may not look so much like sodomy. Raving that the Bills may/may not be the reason that Buffalo should be absorbed by Canada. And that this has all been the 'Rob Johnson Curse'. ((I know what you're thinking...Matchbox 20?? No, that's definitely Rob Thomas. Real Smooth guys....))
I digress. So! The Old Lion informs El Prez: Johnson got the pick over Flutie in '01 for QB1 after both had solid '00 season. Then Johnson broke his collar bone - weak sauce - and the Bills have blown ass ever since. Which goes to show you that you DON'T EVER MESS WITH THE MAN ON THE CEREAL BOX.
The Bengals should be hard pressed to let any of this 'sex line' press get in their way. Remember: those women are single mothers too - think of the children!
omg...OMG IT'S FRIDAY. THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON. OLEGG'S NEW FALL BEATS (betty holla) SOMEBODY SPILLED MY COFFEE (*ahem* p'diddle...) SOMEBODY ELSE TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD CHANGE MY BLOG NAME AND NO LONGER REFER TO MYSELF AS EL PREZ (g-babe) WENT TO JAVA'S AND HAD THE BESTTTT WARMED TURKEY SANDWICH EVER FOR LUNCH (NOW I'M RUINED...) TY-TY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING (literally) THE HAIKU CONTEST WAS GREAT (not.) BUT JAMIESON GOT EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH (rock ittt).
Heads up: My lovely roommate A$HCA$H is visiting Tennessee for a little weekend getaway (vacation...what's that like)? She stepping up her single lady game for them rednecks. How bout this tail feather.
Speaking of life outside the cubes. The venture to Java's was highly successful. The natural lighting comes as a bit of a shock but the pumpkin spice coffee and cafe sammies eased us into real human interaction. Additional confidence built by casual wear because it's CASUAL FRIDAY. More like "be sure you are still presentable and professional" Friday. Which means no napping. But it's been brought to my attention that, in the world of EDU (pencil shavings. lunch money. book bags. justin bieber), they have casual Friday EVERY Friday. That must be nice. I like dedicating days...like National Coffee Day (Sept. 29 holla), and Ass Wednesdays (because it's good to know you're getting ass every wednesday - wtf). (((((complete parenthetic abuse today. deal with it)))))
Fellow twenty-something from my morning workout crew Candy Cane (makes her sound just like the girl next door. if i lived next to a brothel)...she is on the waning end of the twenty-something decade...is finding gray hairs. Gray effing hair...HELL NO. I get called MA'AM everywhere I go now...Dunkin Drive Thru, gas station, even at church...give me credit for not being a dried up hag and at least call me MISS.
I digress.
Somehow, despite the grays, Candy Cane blends into the high school crowd in the EDU World of her west side district. And last week when she told the students to go down the other stairs for trafficking purposes, and the 6th grade hot-trotting miss 'thang' told her NO, BITCH. To the point where Candy had to show Miss Thang her faculty pass and demand a little more respect.
What...no dropping students these days?
Fnck it. It's Friday.
[Betty bringin' it with more fresh beats - Kid Cudi's Maui Wowie vid featured above]
Text received last night: "f*ck tropical storm nicole...yep, you pretty much shit on the whole east coast...and ruined my afternoon"
Snooki's not the only one who can tear it up on the East Coast. Like, you gotta hand it to me! But since some Jamaicans did in fact die from Tropical Storm Nicole, it really doesn't feel right to go any further with this...
Moving on to Betty's boppin' contribution:
Tell me you remember JT's sweet N'Sync curls, and then throwing some slang in that Cup O' Soup costume. Right???
The phone number is supposed to connect callers to Feed the Children, which benefits from sales of "Ochocinco's"...Because of a wrong toll-free prefix for a number listed on Ochocinco's cereal, callers are directed to a phone sex line instead of a children's charity. - [ESPN.com]
HAHAHAHAHA. C'mon guys. Those are single working mothers. Think of the children!
