IT IS RUDE TO WRITE EMAILS IN ALL CAPS

SERIOUSLY, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE YELLING OR AT LEAST ENUNCIATING IN A REALLY OBNOXIOUS AND OVERBEARING WAY.  DON'T ALL-CAPS YOUR DAMN EMAILS.  because i will delete them immediately.

(isn't the little voice, the one in your head that reads things aloud; isn't it like totally echoing off your eardrums right now??)

so please, be kind to your co-workers and don't ever give an ALL CAPS unless it's something like:

"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR I'M FALLING OFF MY CHAIR AND URINATING IN MY PANTS LAUGHING SO HARD BUT REALLY BRING ME SOME DEPENDS BECAUSE I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF.  ALSO HOW WAS YOUR POLITICALLY-CORRECT HOLIDAY SEASON??"

Then there's the off-chance that you have mistakenly left Caps Lock on.  In which case: don't you cube zombies proof read your shit?

Alright.  I'm gonna go raid a cupboard or something.

BYE HAVE A GREAT EVENING AND WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT AND SEIZE THE DAY.

Ya Heard??

Ya heard about the silent auction??

Of course you didn't hear.  Because it's silent.  Duh.

It happened 3 weeks ago.  J-fizz and I rocked it out.  Well, mostly J-fizz.  $11,000 raised in one night.  Whuttttt.  An incredible FIT feat, a job well done by all, [fist pump holla] and through some grit, gasoline, and good grace, hopefully a life has been made a little easier.

If you didn't count your blessings carefully enough on Thanksgiving.  Take a moment for a re-do.




- partners in crime, yo.

Cubicle Land Holiday Gifting

Do you ever have one of those years?  Try as hard as you might, but all your nice eventually turns naughty.  Like the time I made nice with my friend's bf and all the sudden her mom thinks we're sleeping together.  So!  Taking all the necessary precautions for my loyal readers, Cubicle Claus will be branding and sending out one-of-a-kind condoms to all of you.  The perfect, politically correct way to say, "Have a safe, and happy-ending holiday!...ya ho, ho, ho-bag." (one size does not fit all.)

How does that saying go..."everyone has a gift but not everyone unwraps it" ...?  Guessing by 'everyone' they mean 'Born Agains'.

Manic Monday, at it again.

Had a flashback to the Old Office...

When I think of The Old Office...I think of those abused animal commercials with Sarah McLachlan - the camera panning the 8th floor and she is sitting back by Jwoww/Corkey's window, "is you, or has some one you deeply care for, fallen victim to corporate imprisonment?" (camera close up on torn tick sheets, used tissues, a grown man weeping with his headset on...probably Xtreme. A coffee mug is thrown), "don't become another casualty of abuse and mental instability" - and then the token tune, 'In the Arms of an Angel' cues up.

But at the new office, they don't ration coffee. More like the zoo, less like a pound. Whoever cares for my cubemate better mind their manners...WATER FOR THE ELEPHANT.

Instant Kiwi

Admittedly, I thought the scratch off was called "Instant Kwiki"...obviously in that case I would have booked my flight to Australia like yesterday.  Because any country with a lotto ticket like that is home.  Not sure about the Aussie beach boys and the sleeveless puffy vests though...

How bout a surf's up, fist pump, mark sanchez.

HallelujahGodBlessAmerica&TheQueen.

Selena Gomez has been touched by an angel

Is it a girl?  Is it a tranny??  NO!! It's J.Bieber!

Selena Gomez has officially been touched by an angel...who's been touched by Michael Jackson (rest in peace...).  Right?  JBieb is the little Keebler cookie of MJ's heart.  White on the outside, chocolate inside.

And who knew that Alanis Morissette was still on the scene?  Holler at a girls' first cassette tape [...got beta??]  But what's with the Morticia drab?

sweet heels.

Church biddie called me out. Hard.

On Sundays I volunteer for Kidz Club at church.  Walking in this morning, a lady held the door for me.  She gave me the look-over, and goes, "Ha.  I'm not even going to ask."

BOOM! roasted.  Well I salute you...angel friend with values has some mischievous habits.