Say my name.

This post had a much funnier title about 15 hours ago.  But I plum forgot!!


Two items:

Last Thursday, I was showing a potential client around the building.  Potential client says to me, "Oh right.  What's your name again...Melissa?"  No dice.

And today's story won't make any sense.  And this link REALLY won't make any sense: Lois Clubs

[i'll let the people judge on that.]

Somebody find me the effing candy corn in this hell hole.

Is somebody getting a little desperate for votes?

Comments on National Amnesia - blog

(CNN) - "We're using executive authority. . .stepping into a gap, at no cost to the taxpayer, creating a program that creates additional relief to the students," Barnes said.

The president is under pressure to address the financial concerns faced by students and recent graduates. Student loan debt, which is now outpacing credit card debt, is one of the problems called out at Occupy Wall Street demonstrations in New York.

Hey, Mr. President.  Your pants.  They are on fire.

Because YOU - A - LIAR!

FedLoan created a 'special' payment program for me.  By combining my four payments into two, giant lump sums - one for the beginning of the month.  One for the end!! 

Plenty other Americans could use a break, and they do not include college grads and their parents (who are probably just sick of having them living back at home.)

Paranormal Activity 3 & Black Noise.

eek.

Scream doesn't scare me.  Mostly because the scream mask looks like the creeper is about to take it...deep.

Paranormal Activity?  Yeah, didn't sleep for days.  And same thing for Paranormal Activity 2.  So on the opening night of PA-3 last Friday, BuckWild and I were readying ourselves for a shitty 76-hr bender.  Except for one thing: the Black Noise coming from the black biddies who were screaming all around us.

Haha!  For real, real!!  At one point - the wave of "OH NO SHE DI'NT!" was more overwhelming than the demon-possessed 8-yr-old girl.  Hey.  I was laughing myself to tears and afterwards, slept like a baby.  Haunted House or Madea's House.  You tell me.

Two things that I really don't care about.

a) Sbux trying to save dimes and the environment by using paper cups made of 10% post consumer fiber.  Sucks.  It has a tendency to be a piss-poor insulator, burn my finger prints off.  I'm over your 'green games' Starbucks! I want a fkn styrafoam powerhouse coffee cup that will give Thermos a run for their money...and then when I'm done, I want to throw it in a garbage can and never see it.  Ever.  Again.

2) A co-worker was all high and mighty, boasting to me about the sweet suite that he watches NHL games in. In this land of fame and fortune, a single case of beer will cost (get this): a minimum of $130.  Some child in Africa isn't laughing or crying at that...he is buying a case of beer for $12 and selling it to your dumb ass at the Moron Premium.  Yup.  I'd rather get spit on by Superfan in the 300s, I won't know that I'm being showered by spit anyways bc I am cranked off my $3 beers thank you.


I said, good day!!

Sarah Palin is the baddest b!tch around.

Listening to, and judging, a first-grader

I was day-dreaming about the Kardashian Wedding, and saw an update on Sarah Palin's campaign for presidency...as in: that ho is NOT running for president??  WTF!  That campaign was a blogging gold mine.

SNL and Tina Fey just dropped their ratings without any just cause.

Who clued her into the fact that nobody cares about politics anymore?  She knows the fkn drill now.  Bristol just turned 21 and, let me just say, she is gonna rocket MamaBear to the top of Mt. Rushmore solely on fumes and FourLoko.

Right?!  You know Lindsey Lohan's parents are making eighty-bajillion more than...sorry, what did President Obama name his kids? (SEE! case in point.)  Now all we need is for Betty White to adopt the Palins.  ...epic.

NOTCH.

Watch those grab-hands, granny.
(video)

White Girl Problems.

The Guys Upstairs saw me drive up in my lil Civic.  They waved.  I stepped out of my lil Civic.  They say, "Ah we thought that Hummer was yours!!"

...You know.  That Hummer is here before I am, and leaves after I do.  So yes.  That Hummer is mine...all. day. long.

Morning pee break #2.  I ripped my pantyhose.  Hip to ankle.

...Nothing like having to flash the freshly bruised jambones.  No lunch break in sight.  Skank.

Corporate discount at Apple.  Totally sweet, right?!?

...Knocks off like $5 per purchase.

Inner Office IM received, "so we are doing a happy hour at the end of the month, you should come."

...End of the month??  I started pounding shots like yesterday.

Blogger, Trainer, and Spandex Police.

win.

win win win WINNNNN

SO EFFING HARD.  win.

How to you like me now????  TO HAVE MY TOP10 SEARCH WORDS READ 'SPANDEX'  - this is 100% for real real (not for play play).  I have nothing but a spout of awesome obscenities to scream at the top of my lungs because, hell fkn yeahhhhhhh.  Time to up our spandex searches!  I CAN'T LET THE READERS DOWN!!!

Spandex & Sass - nothing but class, folks.  Nothing.  But.  Class....BOOM.