What's the P.C. term for you people?

It's all fun and games until people see a midget....(elf/little person/dwarf)....and immediately think of you.

Don't be mistaken. I do NOT have a sick obsession/fetish. Or maybe that's years of well rehearsed denial. Regardless. Suga made me the happiest girl ever when he spotted the 'elusive black midget' last week:

"elusive black midget"

I love this so hard.

And I probably just made the NAACP's Top 10 Most Wanted list.

Some people get really offended when the subject comes up. The "HOW-WOULD-YOU-FEEL???" reaction followed with screaming in my face. And there's just no winning those debates. Put your politically charged pitchforks down. I'm not saying that anybody shouldn't be allowed to vote or ride the roller coaster.

Coincidentally, Gym Guy got back Stateside, having been in London during the recent Prince William engagement hysteria. He made me the happiest girl ever later last week by bringing me The Independent (a London newspaper, knowing my love for the written word). Gym Guy's exact words where that these tabloids "should sustain your for a few posts."

Center fold story: up and coming microbrewery use Dwarfs and penguins to market their goods and to protest the fact that it's "illegal to serve beer in three-quarter pint glasses in pubs"...

Nick Read driving home BrewDog's campaign for the 2/3 pint, a 300-yr old law

Have you met me?? The girl who dressed in a full banana costume for my final presentation in International Econ Theory on the banana as a commodity?? Right on.

Oh, and BrewDog stouts weigh in at 55% alcohol. Ughhh, don't tease. Gym Guy obviously wants to play matchmaker for CE-yo! and the BrewDog proprietors James Watt/Martin Dickie. Whoever came up with the dwarf idea is clearly my soul mate.

P.S. This am, J-fizz goes "Yo, there's a midget who works at TJ Maxx!"...awesome.

WTF is Cyber Monday??

Was your email just assaulted by any website you ever gave your address to? J Crew, VS, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, JetBlue, Target, Chuck E Cheese...WTF is Cyber Monday?? It's a sensory overload.

Basically the Google Gods just descended from cyberspace to tell me that I never have to take my Black Friday anxiety meds again! Thanksgiving tryptophan comas are A-Okay!

Catching up on all the weekend updates, hitting the K-Cups and now managing all of my holiday shopping via Cyber Monday is going to cut into today's tasking. We are all still coming down from the Indiana Jones/Star Wars holiday marathons. I'm still really confused that it's been 4.5 days since we all last saw each other. Hankin missed me.

Some one please get the memo out to HR and The Management. We can't be expected to work like this.

Annnnnd I just heard about caffeinated popcorn. Where was this during the HP midnight showing?? My roommates are hating that so hard right now :D

Now watch Stephen Colbert give it to Martha Stewart [youtube] - crack whore needs another quaalude.

not your mom's recipe.

...may you think fondly on the past, look forward to the future, and live purely in the moment...

now everybody gather round for mafia stories and tales of two-sided christmas stockings. cheers.

om nom nom

G-babe, BuckWild, and DanTheMan

Pumpkin pie. Stuffing sangwiches (with white bread...the kind that sticks to the roof of your mouth, ooey goodness). Cranberry sauce...ew, jk. Turkey. Mashed Potatoes. Repeat. Om Nom Nom.

Welcome to The Office: Holiday Season. Call all you want, ain't nobody gonna answer.

...why are we here today?

***This is your public service announcement, courtesy WTF and Cubicle Land:
Tis the season for turkey trotters.
Any spandex bikers are fair game. Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.***

Hankin's Inbox:

From: Potential Client

To: Hankin

Date: 11-19-2010, 10:09 PM

Thank you for your call today! I am excited about a new and
innovative web site for our association! And I would even be somewhat
interested in some type of personal firm availability for advertising
on the association's web site. If you are offering me a new web site
for my business, then you have not been upfront with me! And I
don't like it one iota!!!!!!! Your Hankins should have told me up
front what he was scheduling. Oh, I shall be waiting for the
appointment I scheduled with Mr. Hankins but he should have given
more information concerning what I would be hit upon. Bring it on
and it had better be good or even excellent.
- Potential Client

Um?

Notable and Quotable Points:

• "I don't like it one iota!!!!!!"
• "Bring it on and it better be good or even excellent."

Hahahahaha. Sir/Madame, did you feel misled? Were you expecting one thing, and then received another? And finally...what type of quaaludes are you taking?

Welcome to Sales.

BTW, I still heart Hankin.

Isn't it a beautiful day for dialing?

Photo submits - courtesy Miss Marcy

Warning: Thanksgiving marks the start of the merry-making season. Don't expect to focus, do expect to put away the headset because even Jamieson is getting hang ups.

It's about to turn into an HR nightmare. Today was Taco Tuesday at The Office. Tomorrow is Pizza Wednesday. Way to make swooping gastronomical generalizations based on ethnicity. Almost time to deck the walls with 'holiday lights'.

10th Floor is taking it to the next level with their Impromptu Turkey Tack-up. In the spirit of every American ever please notice: Ghetto Turkey is reppin the hood ["Happy Turkey Day Homies"], there's even Gay Turkey [rainbow feathers] - and you know I'm all over that fkn Midget Turkey. Get that bitch into a fryer.

*gobba*gobba*

midget turkey!! look at the midget!!

Everybody freak out about TSA full body scans!

Some critics are calling on travelers to declare Wednesday National Opt-Out Day. While organizers declare the intent isn't to slow down traffic, authorities fear that's exactly what would happen if thousands of people demand the search. [CNN]

Come on. National Opt-Out Day...you out of your mind? An opt-out would result in a colossal grid lock and everyone would miss their flights, and every stranded traveler would rush to the Hertz counter for rental cars to make it to their holiday destinations, but the influx would wreck the supply/demand scheme and there wouldn't be enough mini vans or sedans. EVERYONE WOULD MISS OUT ON THANKSGIVING! How much more un-American can you get?? The answer: none, none more un-American.

Those 'critics' and 'opt-out enthusiasts' sound like a bunch of communists.

Betty's been to European airports that frisk travelers hard core. Yeek. I'd rather have a scanner see through my clothes than some grimy security guard getting a chubby from feeling up on me...but if I do concede, can they knock a couple bucks off the checked-bag charges? (hey. everybody has their price)

and WHY CAN'T YOU SAY BOMB ON AN AIRPLANE?? - "Meet the Parents"

Now let's get serious. In a follow-up reader email from a Newsy.com rep:


pp

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