A "nooner" is a dessert made with pineapple and coconut and fluff! ...right??

I much prefer the noon-to-eight shift.  For some reason, I seem to like people a lot more when I get to lounge around for a few hours and 'kick it' and get other things did before the three-wall-lockdown (especially since quitting coffee; I've been a nightmare moving through molasses.  FunFetti has been worried.)

Cubicle Land Declaration: NOONERS FOR ALL!

This new hookup site for college kids is really creepy

UChicago Hookups: where fun comes to thrive

Hahahaha is UChicago serious? Fun should not be going to 'thrive' on an Internet flesh site! There's plenty of other places like: dorm rooms, dorm bathrooms, empty classroom, teacher's lounge, back stairwell, library encyclopedia section, auditorium, broom closet...This serious lack of imagination is disconcerting. I blame Justin Bieber.

((side note: gym pal Scotty B was filling me in on kids getting arrested yesterday for booze in their McShamrock Shakes...hahahaha. now THAT'S classic.))

But hey! Just write up your coital Craiglisting - receive instant notification/gratification - and hopefully soon there will be an app for that. Give it an old-fashioned game of rock/paper/scissors over who's got the cab fare.

This just screams STDs and sexual assault. And what if the dude/chick shows up and there's been some serious false advertising; the last thing you want is a samurai sword and nun chucks killing the mood (no comment.)

When I was in college you actually had to have game. You know...flirt, charm, extra shots of Cuervo. And if you wanted a random, then you waited til last call at the bar, spun around and pointed at the lucky winner. Bingo! If it was slim pickins that night, you flipped through your cell phone on your way back to the dorms looking for a satisfied repeat customer.

I can't even imagine what it was like for my parents. Probably smoke signals, Morse code, or landlines.

happy st patricks day. get lucky.

even if you're not irish...just go with it.

love to puck

It's better to burn out than to fade away - neil young

In addition to the morning gym ritual (wtf!) I do some late night drag-racing down 490; but mostly I stick to hockey. Love to puck. It's a great group of girls...well, ladies? females ranging from ages 21-65? (at what point do you stop saying "going out with the boys" and make it "going out with the guys/men"...girls/ladies... shit I'm offending everyone now.)

Mostly they think I'm out of my mind anyways because I drive like a maniac and cruise around with a shit-grin on my face and somehow end up in the penalty box.

So Kelty and I were on the bench between shifts at our game last night. As we're chatting, she asked what I did...[insert generic job description, entry-level babble]...she gave a nod. Then asked how old I was.

'Twenty-something...23 to be exact.' She asked how I liked it. And maybe I over-emphasized how much I like being twenty-something...but I mean, it's funnn! There's nobody to answer to, nobody to look after. Obviously I have no clue what I'm doing or where I'm going. But if I don't walk into my apartment until 6:30am on a Friday from a night out - only to shower and show up to work - who the hell is going to stop me?

Well, Kelty had just turned 24. She shrugged a bit to my response, then said what every one of us feels deep down (even if we fake it): "Yeah, I mean it's okay. It's a tough age because you don't know really what you want or like, what you're doing. Now at least we get a little more respect in the professional world 'cuz we're not fresh out of school anymore, but, yeah I dunno."

Shit...right? Life's heavy stuff. But if we're chilling in this in-between, might as well lay back and enjoy the ride, eh? Them chrome pipes.

And then my other twenty-something teammate Cooper says, "If you can't dazzle them with your skills, then baffle them with your bullshit."

Ha. Guess we're all out of our minds.

I love laughing at the expense of others.

BUT YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DISH IT IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT.

Let this brighten your day.  I'm a Generation Y'er through and through...  Why?  Instant gratification:

How's that for 'eating the job'?

If you know me, you are probably dry-heaving from laughter.  Even if you don't know me, you're tearing.  Any self-respecting twenty-something lady has a skeleton or two in their closet.  My skeletons just happen to be elephants.

S'up Wednesday!

(585): Happy St. Patrick's Day. I peed the bed.

Hahahaha what kind of jerk writes something like that???  Day drinking with your co-workers is not something to be taken lightly.  That's all I'm saying.

How to get fired...

My pal JG was on a conference call yesterday.  They were listing off job transfer areas (and backing it up with stats from the unemployment article posted on - wait for it....CUBICLE LAND!)  Also, JG noted for me...

JG:  i found out the 3 ways to get fired are: 1- drink on the job, 2- screw up your time card, and 3- use the f-bomb

...unless you're Charlie Sheen.  Then it's: 1- come to work coked out/busted up 2 - threaten the masses with a machete 3 - winnnnnnnnnnn.  Different rules for different gods/goddesses I guess.