Will somebody get the kid a happy meal??

Can this kid at least rap a Justin Bieber song? No. Pick the cracked-out, glitter whore named Ke$ha and sing about dancing with muh girliez. Yeahhh bee-bee! Like OMG soooo SEXIIII$%@&! And WTF is a B-Girl? Bet he dressed up as a pirate for Halloween. With a parrot.

Like, what do you mean "We R Who We R" - ultimate hooked-on-phonics FAIL. And a deeply philosophical introspective topic that needs to be saved for Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy or the next batch of special brownies. Who is setting the example of playing on the railroad tracks as a safe past time? Little dude needs a juice box and an action figure. At age 7 I was balling it up Chuck-E-Cheese's. And building forts out of cardboard boxes, with Indian Rug Burns as rite of passage. The Picaddilly kids know what I'm talking about.

Circa the 1:54:00 mark is when his jig just kills me. And I'm just waiting for him to blow snot bubbles. His arms and legs flailing all over, doing some sort of pee-pee dance. Oh wait. My mistake...that's J Bieb:

[photos courtesy 106.7 FM Elvis Duran morning show hook up]

Cube Chronicles Celebratory Countdown: Day 1

Calling all cubies! ...and non-cubies, and former cubies, and someday cubies...today commences the CUBE CHRONICLES CELEBRATORY COUNTDOWN! It was either start the countdown now, or start the holiday shopping.

The official blog birthday is on Saturday, November 6th. I'm all excited about the things I want to gift to myself for this profound milestone. [view my registry at Staples]

Also, (in the words of Hankin), CNN just sucks today because of all the election crap. The only juice I heard was on 106.7 FM during the morning drive about a lady calling in some franchise because the sub shop worker burnt her meatballs and wouldn't make her a new sandwich. Like she'd even know which 'wich is which.

Let's all welcome the new guy, Rob --> hereforth shall be dubbed "Berto". He hasn't done anything to merit this nickname. But I have been dyinnnnng to call some one Berto. Tall glass of water. All about delivery...I know he won't disappoint.

So from now until then we are all about business and all about cubes.

Don't you so want this job??

like holy shit where did the symphony orchestra come from? i got straight up chills down my spine. road rage and raw emotion from every denny the driver and terry the trucker cruising the interstates. talent. all through the eyes/windshield of the lonely cab. a youtube sensation.

dude. pretty sweet.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL:

"its so funny though 

because I'm not.

smiling...

or dialing." 

- FaLaLa*

annnnnd she's staring at you in the reflection of that HP monitor.  damnitttt.  of course you know this girl.  she is you.  dialing furiously in the cube across from you.  mainlining some colombian roast.  and pounding through some leads.  ugh.  don't invite her to happy hour.

This week's a little bit of a flop

autographed Favre jersey

Remember how the VP has an autographed Favre jersey framed in his office? Pretty well hung I'd say. Does this mean we can expect big things to come? More like a little flop. j-fizz fist pump.

HookerJones said to me: "Yeah, one thing I don't miss is you slamming your phone at 8:30 in the morning."

First of all. Eff you Hooker. You miss my musk. And coffee tantrums. Secondly: Funny...it's 10:21am and I'm pretty certain that I rocked the receiver all the way up to the 9th. Ya feel me? (no, really. i threw it down real hard.)

Since most of us have been cubed up for a while, we don't have any political efficacy to be voting. Thank Mr. Paul Gabbey for that SAT word. Haven't updated my Twitter *tweet*tweet*, and the only reason I know it's Tuesday is because my horoscope is different.

oh. and i guess the World Series is over? huh. strange how when the Yankees don't play that NOBODY CARES.

these are my friends, fkn out of their tree...ca-caw!

I wanna be a tillionaire...so. freaking. bad.

...and all I really have to do is invent something and patent it.  ("see what i did there?? get over it. i am.")

BAM.  Instant dineros.  And an iPad.

Team brainstorm meeting at Legends.  STAT!

*post inspired by Jamieson's snark remark

Asian Guy from Hangover is killin it! Derrick Rose is okay too

Hahaha, what a slick rick.  I could care less about the kicks.  But super pumped for the new 30-second spots.