This is what we call an HR Nightmare.

Three things I never want to see in The Office: any sort of animal - especially cats; children under age 10; three week old lunch rotting in the communal fridge.

Bringing your puppy to the office is a BIG NO-NO.

Sorry little Miss Paris Fkn Hilton aka 'my-dad-was-in-the-parade', you're not in LA anymore. FYI...nobody wants to talk to you. FYI...since you brought the dog in, STILL nobody wants to talk to you. Not for nothing - it is a really really cute dog.

Screws loose.
Pack. Your. Shit.

I just don't get it

Happy Birthday Lil Wayne!!!  How bout that orange jumpsuit?  Must suck to know that white lil Lindsey Lohan was released from her cell and is celebrating for you.  Which is just asking for a 2009 VMA clash of the Taylor Swift/Kanye titans all over again - shots! shots! shot-shots!

In other news, Colby reports that the owner of Segway died on his Segway (ran it off a cliff).  What's the adage...a slave to once's device?  (literally)  Just another testament to the product's safety/control features.  And begs the question:  why is J Biebs still around??

Monday Morning Dose of Suga

The landlord's kid...[a seven year old boy]...is all ready for Halloween. The entire first floor of the Gingerbread House has everything decorated from spider webs to chalked windows to skeleton masks. Landlord's kid and I have gotten into some serious discussions about skeletons, trick-or-treating, and Star Wars. As in the differences between Anakin, Luke, Darth Vadar and Darth Maul. Most of you don't know this but I'm a Star Wars buff. Not ashamed. But no glow = no show. Get it?

I'm just really glad that I can pass on this legacy through him and teach him how to make the most of the bag of Halloween candy he'll be getting.

Alls there is to say...CANDY CORN. The amount of sugar I can-slash-will consume in the month of October is entirely appalling and is enough to commit me to a lifetime of Type II diabetes [sup Mary Tyler Moore]. Two words: bulk aisle.

Needless to say November comes as a total crack-addict-withdrawal-type shock in the worsttt way for me. Dunkin will also retire the pumpkin spice...aka don't. even.

My lips like sugar. What to do without it??

holla holla wtf scoops j-f

A+ All Star Night Out

Bruins v. Panthers...preseason match.  If a great opportunity falls into your lap, you're not just gonna ignore it - which is why I still don't believe that Tim Tebow is all that pure.  Yeah, I said it.

My roommate gets tickets mad cheap (I don't ask questions) so we got the girls together for a night out and preseason puck.  You know.  Get all cute but not too overdone, after all it's only a hockey game, but after all we are looking to each bag an NHL starter.

There was no disclaimer about $7 brews, the fact that Chara looks like some busted neolithic mime, or seeing our high school math teacher who is now the "HOT DOGS!...PEANUTS!" guy.  Kinda wish there'd been a midget.

-ISMs.

Let's talk "Friday-isms", since that was the entire topic of the morning meeting.  Our manager comes in, slides up to the white board and asked-slash-demanded that we shout out cliches about Friday.  Master brainstormers that we are:

• Good Fridays make good Mondays
• It's 5 o'clock somewhere
• TGIF

 I contributed the "5 o'clock somewhere" thing...and still wonder why nobody takes me seriously.

BRAND NEW

Colby cues it up with the new Jam Sesh for you cube chilluns (see the Jam Sesh vid on the right >>>>>)

In other news...i just broke my headset.

Modern Family Moments

So fresh. So fly. So unfortunate that my dad flew to Indianapolis, only to see his Gmen get raped in this so called 'Manning Brothers Bowl'. As much as that sucks and as much as I love Eli, the eldest should always win anyways. And when my brother (six years my junior) and I used to fight, I would totally whoop his ace and pin him to the ground. Except now that he's a 7ft ogre-slash-lumberjack, I don't stand a chance.


...buckwild you nassssty gurl!

[thanks sink-o for the vid-eo]