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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

GTA: Dress Down Day

Not even gonna make you all guess.  GTA a la dress down day...DanTheMan.  We all knew behind those collared shirts and pleated pants there was a bad boy rocker in that back window-view cubicle.

Time to surrender the booty!!

HookerJones...do we see some some grab action there?

And since it's Wednesday (even though it really feels like Tuesday), and since I'm enjoying the BEST cup of coffee EVERRRR.  It's a two-fer:


Somebody clue me into the skinny jean overalls combo?  Notice the pink squiggly rearing its ugly little coil from the back pocket...hmm, lil miss piggy.

Taking on the Twenty-Something Challenge

Rough stuff trying to make it in the world.  Who to trust.  What to do.  Who to screw! (that last one was just a figure of speech. sort of).

Networking and pushing forward and trying to move upward - a lot of unknowns.  Grad school?  Should you apply for another job?  Did you really give it everything you had?  Is that REALLY all you have??  Like, "oh hi i'm in this cube for days and days and days, guess there's a great big world out there.  maybe they fired me and i don't even know it yet.  seemingly estranged.  can i go back to college?"

FYI: do NOT go back to college.  Well, unless you need to for your career.  Like my friend MT who's going to seminary school...but that's more like continued education because you cannot preach or teach or lots-of-other-things without that coveted Masters or, dare I say...PhD.

So my buddy MT is getting his PhD as a Christian minister.  We were catching up on Monday (real Monday, not Tuesday-that-feels-like-a-Monday).  And he has four jobs in addition to his schooling.  FOUR JOBS.  And he's on a full ride scholarship!  ...no pun intended...Like, dude, unless you count 'cooking dinner' as a job, alls I got is Cubicleland and a telephone.

He's quite the hustler for being a man of God.  MT is a tutor for kids who are home schooled, an administrator at his local church, sells/buys gold at a store in the mall, and he's a card dealer.  And by card dealer I mean to say people buy his card dealing services for their corporate casino themed parties and such.  So actual Texas Hold 'Em and BlackJack. 

Love me a good card game.  But I always go all in and fold anyways...

Point is.  Whatever you got to do to pass go and collect the coin - get it done.

[[Newsflash courtesy J-fizz: The Academy announces no more grinding at school dances.  Kids are on strike!  Faculty is stealing away the best part of what high school is all about!!] - so. what you're saying is...GO FISH.

Best Wednesday Ever

 UGHHHHHHH.  PUMPKIN SPICE THIS IS THE BEST CUP OF COFFEE I'VE EVER HAD.

I NEVER WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE BECAUSE IT'S JUST GOING TO SUCK IN COMPARISON.

rarh.

and i saw a black midget on my way in to The Office.


I LOVE TODAY.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Finish Up With: Smallest Man On Earth

Fox News brings the day full circle with: The World's Smallest Man.

GTFO!

Admittedly, it feels kind of wrong exploiting this, but really:
"Edward Nino Hernandez, 24, of Colombia, is currently the world's smallest man. He stands 2-feet, 3-inches tall - slightly bigger than a piece of carry-on luggage."
They noted for us that Edward is only slightly bigger than a piece of carry-on luggage.

Where's the YouTube for this knee-biter?

Also. He breakdances. Not for nothing, DanTheMan you better step up your lead-singer-slash-guitar scene.


oh....so HookerJones comes through with the YouTube.  Made my life.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

On Saturday. I'm chilling at the kitchen table with my roommate B-fab (formerly known as Barbie), and her friend BryGuy. Just enjoying our subs and some 40s.

B-fab had a 12-hour shift at the hospital and left to take a shower. BryGuy and I are sharing stories - cuz I have great stories. And we get B-fab's computer (a lot of my stories are on the Chronicles).

BryGuy goes "El Prez, you gotta see this video." He types in some duck song keyword to Google. Youtube comes up. We watch. Laugh awkwardly...seriously, duck song?? Then he says, "No...you are gonna LOVE this one."

And proceeds to type in 'midget jumps out of suitcase'. Ahem? YES OF COURSE I'M GOING TO LOVE WHATEVER THIS IS.

BryGuy navigates some adult type websites, and the video is pulled from every single one (no pun intended). The search goes on. And on. Because I realllllly want to find out about this midget. If that's even the politically correct term...I digress. Thinking I know everything about Google searches, I take the driver's seat and all the sudden

BAM.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH.

On B-fab's not-even-one-month-old new computer. Great. So we'll be downloading the pirated stuff on that comp from now on.

A tranny walks into a bar...


 "Ma'am...can you please identify your attacker?"

"HE. HAD. WHITE. SHOES!"

This Tuesday-pretending-to-be-a-Monday is totally throwing me off.  And it's September.  What even happened to August?  Oh yeah, I slept through that month.

This weekend felt like an entire month.  Alls I know is, one minute I'm chilling in O'Cals with HookerJones, the next thing I know - a tranny walks into a bar...and Nealon pours himself a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.  Standard Sunday.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Saltines, please.

Note to self:  more. coffee.

So happy first Friday of the month.  J-woww, why are you so dressed up?

How bout them apples.