This is awesome:

Question: where can I get one and are they housebroken?

Because we don't get to watch Shark Week

Because there are so many unknown names/faces on Floors 9 & 10, I feel like I no longer am the eyes and ears of Cubicle Land...naturally I've resorted to total creeper status. How have I missed out on this guy?? Just kidding.

Ya'll can thank Hanks for this submisison...[digg.com].

Why are we sitting in The Office when we could be

watching Shark Week?

Who said Smiling and Dialing had to be no fun and games?

What does it mean to graduate from Cubicle Land?

I don't know what happened, but I looked around the Totally Tubular Tuesday AM Meeting and thought "WTF - who are all these people?" Have the cube walls been closing in? Dare I say that I have a bit of cube vision? In just a year, nay, three months there's been weeding out, moving up, or moving out. And all left are a few good soldiers.

Most have moved on. Bless their hearts. And the rest of us us, after hours of smiling and dialing, are at a crossroads. New kids...well, you'll soon figure it out.

But then there's always the promise of Office Status. Which, four solid walls and a door? Who knows what else could happen behind closed doors. Yes please. That way it's all about GTS (googling that shit) and perusing your daily YouTube clips, articles and blogs *ahem* in COMPLETE PRIVACY. We are all trying to disguise ourselves as functioning adults anyways...how our VP's family photo:

Yes. Fake stash. God I can't wait to have kids.

All I ever wanted in life was an ice cold Vitamin Water

How can you not love a drink with flavors like Triple XXX? Doesn't it suggest the insane high...the killer road raging flow of juices and sassy attitude (or "bad-ittude") it's gonna give you? Of course it does! My cube trash can is now a VW bottle grave yard.

Time to revive and accessorize. G's just not hitting the spot anymore. Move over Gatorade, mama's found a new fixxx.

Oh. And this doesn't change anything about the daily 8 [cups of coffee].

Office Elites and Dead Beats

Main man with office mojo, Steve Carell, never ceases to amaze me. Dinner for Schmucks was a solid hour and a half of squirming "Well-that-was-awkward" moments. Premise: office elites host a monthly dinner and each is expected to bring the biggest effing idiot they can find. Which is not unlike our daily lunches (last week Hanks was our usual guest of honor...). The most outrageous guest gets the award and the office elite who invited said guest gets props. Not that I'm big on judging...I just have a lot of thoughts.

Nothing like using others to get ahead in life.

Park Ave Fest this weekend will be prime time freak finding. Bring your seersuckers.

Baby...baby...baby...

NEW YORK – You're never too young to write a memoir.

Sixteen-year-old Justin Bieber's book comes out in October. HarperCollins announced the pop star's memoir on Monday, saying "Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story" will reveal the teen sensation's "amazing journey to stardom."

The book also will include previously unseen photos for "fans afflicted with Bieber fever."  In a statement released by the publisher, Bieber says he is "excited to share just a little bit more of my world." [AP]

Insider scoopsss: the first chapter is dedicated to the footsie pajama fetish of J Biebs and his battle with chicken pox (and the sky high Bieber Fever of 102 that came with those awful pox).  Is this going to be a color by number type booklet?

Some one please clarify what "excited to share just a little bit more of my world" means.  You are 16 freaking years old.  You don't even remember Fat Topenga!  Probably weren't alive.  Your balls haven't dropped and roasting mallows on a Friday night is the most exciting thing you've done lately.  When you've mooned a cop, blown a line of coke or at least stopped breastfeeding and using training wheels, then please enlighten us with your cookie-cutter launch to stardom.

Allow me to ruin the ending: Lindsey Lohan = Justin Bieber in 7 years.

I'm waiting for my girl Leeny "Cheddar" Covs to start spinning the dead baby Bieber jokes. 

A few of my favorite things...

When I go downtown with the girls on a Saturday night, having been mistaken for my mother is NOT one of my favorite things. Period.

It went something like this:

Waiting in line to get into The Pig (a bar...about as classy as its name indicates) with HookerJones and BuckWild, I saw my sister's friend. Who is 21..ish. So we had the typical exchange: "omg I can't believe I'm seeing you out! omg let's have a drink as soooooon as I get in!" Which is what older siblings/friends are supposed to do when we see the little ones out. It's a rite of passage. And then I couldn't find her. Shame...but I saw another one of my sister's friends later on waiting in line for the bathroom. She freaked out and said, "Like OMG!! Kar said that your mom was here!! And like was gonna buy her a shot!!!" ...death and destruction to my twenty-something ears... I explained to Friend #2 that, no, it was in fact me that promised the alcohol bonding experience...not my 50yr old mother. (disclaimer: i hope to look half as good as my mom when i'm 50. but i'm 23. let's not get ahead of ourselves)

That was awesome. Then HookerJones almost took a tumble down a man hole in front of five cops.