Wake Up with Bowling for Street Bums!

Office life is not all glitz and glamor. Sure, there's nothing like a fresh pressed pants-suit, the 'business woman lunch special', or corporate golf tournaments. But it's all fun and games with a paycheck until you're running late and stuck in traffic just 5ft from your parking garage because a bum got hit by a car.

Not for nothing. But for three lanes to halt on account of Peg-Leg Pete needing two cop cars, an ambulance, and caution tape - it really just chaps my ass. Please cart the unemployed bum to the nearest ER for immediate medical attention. Damn socialists.

HookerJones is much more sympathetic to the street peeps. She's used to working the corner though.

Triple Word Score

Miz and I just got done playing "I'm thinking of a word...and I can't think of it" (lemme ask ya - how many associates does it take to come up with the word 'influence'? answer: roughly six)

But thanks to Colby, any cubes conjoined to his are now well prepped for their next Scrabble showdown. Yesterday I heard the words facetious, advantageous, launched. Atta boy!! Sink-o from upstairs should be taking notes for his new diggs. Forget verbal advantage. This is just verbal domination. But then again Colby just went full retard on us. Anyone up for a good tickle?

J-Fizz has been dishing pointers on the Scrabble 'strategery' - she says remember to always go for the triple word score - holla. So considering the critical 'influence' (see what i did there?) on twenty-something lifestyle, add it to your Saturday Game Night repertoire. Never play without a partner.

Birthdays and Black Balloons.

Hey Momma gets a shout out for her big half-century bday.
Just the other day we were conversing and she used the term
'viral video'
and I nearly seized with delight.
She may be 50 but she don't act like it. (if I ever upload the video
of the pizza-bites-late-night-Taco Bell-run , you'd all agree.)

After all. It is my every wish and aspiration to be her someday...
and to achieve MILF status, graduate
from The Cube into a life of creature comforts
(and also to have a sustainable checking account).

Holla for Hey Momma! Fist pump for the viral video:

Cubicle Web Cam, What??

After raiding the supply room. I found the single most revolutionary piece of equipment: a web cam.

Confessional Cube? Hidden Cube Cam?? Anyone???

Ohhh maiiiii gaddddddd. Blogging just got real.

sorry if you expected a more clever title.

Weekend recap:

- Gingerbread House inhabitants had a fine 48-hr run...bucket lists and cookie crumbs.

- The Office Cult...we need tattoos.

Allow me to elaborate:

It's not really a bucket list. More like a checklist of the 7 Deadly Sins. At any rate. The Office cult is pretty established in The City. Rooted so deep in the underground, such a well kept secret...essentially anyone who asks "Oh, so where do you work?" has no flippin' clue who we are, what The Office is, or what we do. Yet you can't go anywhere without seeing another member of the secret society.

People-watching on Barbie Dream Porch? Spot the VoiceOverGuy from Production pushing his kid in a stroller. Run around Cobbs Hill? Avoid Hanks as she comes barreling towards you from the reservoir. Show up at O'Cals downtown? And the entourage is waiting.

But it's good that we have each other. Otherwise, HookerJones would have tried hitting on her Gym Boy. Thank goodness Nealon put the kabosh on that one. Although, he was a little late for the pic of J-woww's muck out...aka facial assault...but hopefully by this time next week there'll be a solid still-frame of a make out massacring. Sa-weeeet.

SNL Rule

General Rule of Thumb - If you're around to watch an SNL episode on the weekend, consider yourself FML.

It's not the be-all, end-all of twenty-something life...but next time you're watching Taylor Swift stand awkwardly on stage or Justin Bieber serenade Tina Fey, I hope a little voice tells you to "damn it woman, pull yourself together." Because that means you are either 1) staying in or B) your night ended awfully early (and mostly likely, awfully lonely).

Seriously. Anything you need to see can be Googled asap on Monday morning (prime Google time while the morning mug kicks in). And what about Friday nights? Yes, glad you asked. If monkeying around the cubes for 5 days, being jerked by Management, doesn't get you one free pass-out early pass, then consider your paycheck and 40+ hours a wash.

Cheers.

Treat Yourself

Make yourself feel much more important today. Courtesy of cube grad - The Hoff.

Thanks Hoff.